I Lied to Myself

I woke up this morning and my mind was filled with thoughts. “I’m not good enough. I’ll never succeed at reaching my dream. No one finds value in what I do.” After hearing all this (in my head of course) you can imagine how I felt…depressed, unmotivated and worthless. Why bother getting out of bed, right?

It was then that I asked myself, “Do you really believe what you just said?” No, of course not was the response, I had just lied to myself. Although things may not be moving as quickly as I like, and roadblocks may be placed in front of me, I do believe I am on the right track. I know that there are people who find value in what I do…I know that because I have people showing up regularly to my classes, my workshops and look, you are still reading my blog.

When things get challenging it’s natural to feel insecurity, doubt and wonder if it will ever get better. I believe the key is to recognize where the feelings stem from. At times that I feel as I did this morning, I ask myself, “Why do you feel that way?” If the answer doesn’t immediately come I sit in silence until one does. What am I really afraid of? Do I truly believe it? Often the answer comes that I am feeling overwhelmed. The key is identifying what to do with that feeling.

When I look at the big picture of what I want to accomplish it can easily seem overwhelming. How can I climb that big mountain? The way I deal with it is to take one step forward. Just one step doesn’t seem so insurmountable. When I complete that step I acknowledge that I moved forward and identify the next step. As each step is taken I am moving forward toward the larger goal and I feel less pressure.

I believe that our thoughts create reality. So visualizing the end game, seeing myself succeeding in my task is important. It shifts my mindset and sets my course in the Universe. And as far as the challenges, I am learning new things every day. The next time I face that challenge, it may no longer feel like a challenge. I can recognize that I have experienced it before and gotten through it.

So in truth I know that I will catch myself lying to myself in the future as my insecurity once again rises. I will recognize the truth of where that insecurity stems and move past it.